the search continues

as luck would have it, the journey in search of a higher power took an unexpected turn. i can't remember what led me in this direction but i'm giving credit to my lucky coin which is giving me a lot of comfort. the source of the comfort is irrelevant, the bottom is i need all the comfort i can get.

what i have stumbled upon is shifting realities. my default reality can be challenging and if i am unable to change the terms and conditions of my present reality, why not shift realities? there are many ways to shift reality but it's not something you can buy on line and to truly shift realities and it should be done without the use of drugs. in other words, shifting reality requires a little work which is a good thing. if it was possible to snap your fingers and shift reality, it would be very difficult to take ownership of your new reality. 

on a very basic level, cable news in the united states presents different realities. one network praised the actions of past president while a different  network condemned the same actions. neither network presented a unbiased account of the person's actions, a simple statement of truth was not as profitable to the networks as was shifting the reality of the person's actions. this is why a shifting reality is something that you must acquire by your own actions, it is next to impossible to find a human without ulterior motives.

in the new pope, john malkovich does an outstanding job of presenting his new reality. 

god?

 a few weeks ago my brain did its best microsoft impression and decided to do an update and restart. all updates are not created equal and i found myself thinking that i was in a forest beside a fast moving stream. when my operating system was fully restored i found myself lying on the kitchen floor with water streaming out of the faucet at full strength. i was perplexed and as it turned out, quite thoroughly bruised.

after getting to my feet  i remember checking the clock on stove and it was 5:02 pm. the big question was, what time did the update and restart begin? my best guess was 4:45, so there were about 20 minutes to account for and the rip wasn't giving me any clues. i can't remember much of that evening but 5:02 is imprinted in my mind. being unstuck in time can be challenging.

several days ago i had this desire to find a higher power.  did the update and restart of my operating system plant a virus in my brain that was prompting me to find a higher power?  or perhaps the higher power took notice of a lost soul and gave me a nudge. i find myself having more questions than answers but that can be said of any right thinking person so the bottom line is i'm just another brick in the wall.

my first thoughts of a higher power revolved around jesus but i quickly realized that was because our society continually bombards us with religious rhetoric. it's wonderful that we have have the internet because it allowed me to rule out organized religion very quickly. jesus is still an option but if i head in that direction i'll cut out the middleman and seek a direct line.

is there a god?  as a young man i was a devout atheist but i now realize that there are millions of people way smarter than myself who believe in god so although i'm a non believer, i do realize that there is a good chance that i'm wrong.

however, if there is a god of the universe i am 100% certain that the version of god we have been sold is not the true gospel.

if god created the universe, the real 10 commandments are the laws of physics, not the stuff organized religion uses to try and keep us humans in line.

at first i thought the goal was to find comfort in a higher power but after a few days of contemplation i remembered that the best way to ruin a good project is to finish it so for now i just hope to enjoy the journey and a journey is no more than a very long series of connected moments.

so for now i'll just "enjoy the moment".

everything old is new again.

several years ago the blog became tiresome and the quality of bullshit i posted seemed to morph into horseshit.  bullshit is one thing but horseshit was a real wake up call.

so now i'm back, big whoop eh?

why am i back.......... ?

i have no idea why i'm back but the real question is how long will i stick with  this before some other shiny object catches my eye and lures me away.

now that i'm back, i need a new theme. no, not a theme.  

i need a good gimmick.

any suggestions?

no? well then i better log out and google gimmick.

hopefully i'll have a decent gimmick for the next post.

i feel this poor guy's pain.