tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52068619432105935472024-03-05T03:56:56.688-08:00The PondE. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.comBlogger84125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-8757856405970772952021-11-11T17:11:00.003-08:002021-11-11T17:11:20.947-08:00fate<p> whilst walking the rip and dreaming of valhalla i was possessed by a spirit that led me to a recycling bin and as fate would have it, i found the final piece of my puzzle. i had no choice but to retrieve the object and take it home. at first i wondered, what is this thing and what am i doing with it. </p><p><br /></p><p>then after a little quiet comptemplation i was possessed once again by the spirit and woke up to find this......</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmV8SZLjjB2JyxklUiA4bKbF24745vRRYB2zpiTERCpu9iWPs8IDXiUz_mMz5WeLPz4EbU9GN0RaHUNS4G7jIOLyZMocomazpwF9Yb8w3u-XG_JzbNDQYYRyhEt0OuRok9L589NdSO2LuB/s2048/november+11+2021+%252815%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="495" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmV8SZLjjB2JyxklUiA4bKbF24745vRRYB2zpiTERCpu9iWPs8IDXiUz_mMz5WeLPz4EbU9GN0RaHUNS4G7jIOLyZMocomazpwF9Yb8w3u-XG_JzbNDQYYRyhEt0OuRok9L589NdSO2LuB/w371-h495/november+11+2021+%252815%2529.JPG" width="371" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>i now have a path to valhalla.</p>E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-23124065608582692722021-10-24T18:10:00.002-07:002021-10-24T18:26:54.608-07:00 another summer down<p>i haven't posted anything for a long time. i haven't been busy, just slothful. it was a long hot summer, we had the hottest temperatures in recorded history due to something called a heat dome and that contributed to my slothful ways but i did accomplish one thing; lots of fish!</p><p><br /></p><p>the weather did not co-operate so the final product is not top notch. it will be a few months until the final judgement is in but i'm not very optimistic. we had a very wet spring which got things off to a slow start followed by a super hot summer which helped but the fall weather was abysmal and that is what sunk the ship. the final few weeks are crucial for high grade fish and we had rain followed by more rain and that was followed by more rain. not only did the rain hamper development of the magic ingredient, it resulted in some moldy flowers.</p><p><br /></p><p>here are the fruits of my labor. there is also a tub of trim which will used for baked goodies.</p><p><br /></p><p>one of the reasons for my absence is my inability to remember the basics of blogger and that ties in with my slothful ways. i just don't have the energy or interest to figure out the latest curve balls from google.</p><p><br /></p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpIsNC5-heNHkcUv5kgVc60f6u8sivVi4o9jUaHlwKd4FIZDc0NQLBzZp2u5XJfkWpn6Pi0YjWRz0hUXjMz8EWB7fDxGDRj_wUGuzhCIBYD4iWXQAt2hujPZpYphWkxGHLNNT3gGr1_iA7/s2048/oct+24+2021+%25283%2529.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="742" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpIsNC5-heNHkcUv5kgVc60f6u8sivVi4o9jUaHlwKd4FIZDc0NQLBzZp2u5XJfkWpn6Pi0YjWRz0hUXjMz8EWB7fDxGDRj_wUGuzhCIBYD4iWXQAt2hujPZpYphWkxGHLNNT3gGr1_iA7/w556-h742/oct+24+2021+%25283%2529.JPG" width="556" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>billy still loves you sons of bitches.</p>E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-71069081682675060272021-06-29T17:10:00.001-07:002021-06-29T17:10:44.795-07:00How hot is it?<p> how hot is it?</p><p>i really wish rodney dangerfield was still with us to answer that question. it's been super hot around here lately with a lot of people saying it's the hottest weather ever. the so called experts like to factor in humidity levels and wind etc to come up with an adjusted "feels like" number, much like they do in the winter when they add in the "wind chill" factor.</p><p>why don't they ever factor in the "hangover" factor. it's really hard for me to compare this weather to that of 20 years ago because i no longer have hangovers. but i still have a great deal of sympathy for the poor buggers trying to deal with 100 degree weather while they're dehydrated and have a pounding headache from the previous night's adventures with the demon rum.</p><p>this morning i rode up the supermarket and after completing my shopping and unlocking the bike i was trying to decide whether to put rip's sack of potatoes in the backpack or just ride home with the bag hanging from the handlebars when something wonderful happened. a stranger approached me and asked if i was ok and if there was anything he could do for me. this gesture could be interpreted two ways.</p><p>1. in my glass half full universe i smiled and said no problem, i'm doing great but thanks for the concern.</p><p>2. or i could have sat back and said, do i really look so pitiful that a stranger looks upon me as a homeless man with no apparent means to look after myself?</p><p>a few times strangers have offered to give me a few bucks when they see me going through trash cans in search of empty beer and pop cans. once when i stopped to pick up cans on the side of the road a man stopped and insisted that i take some of his groceries. i ended up riding away with a few cans of soup and some nachos.</p><p>these are the good things that happen to me when ride around on my bike like a poor homeless man but there is also a down side. it can be hard to get service in a store when the clerks think i'm nothing but a nuisance and don't enough money to buy their junk. and i occasionally get some really dirty looks from fellow shoppers when i try to talk to them. usually i say nothing when a stranger looks down on me but there's a good chance i'll say, well fuck you too.</p><p>and tomorrow i have an appointment to receive my second dose of the covid vaccine. i was one of the suckers who took an astrazeneca for the first dose but now i'm going to get either pfizer or moderna. i'll have no choice and won't know what i'm getting until i show up.</p><p>i'll be bringing a book and a bag of ju jubes with me. if there are any good looking women in the waiting area, i'll be ready to break the ice with ju jubes. fuck, i might even comb my hair and iron a white shirt.</p>E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-81132056246360361292021-05-22T16:19:00.002-07:002021-05-22T16:19:29.235-07:00<p> erosive osteoarthritis</p><p>if that isn't painful, what is?</p><p>my fingers have been painful for a while and the doctor usually blew me off but he finally took me seriously and ran some tests. he was perplexed by the results and referred me to a rheumatologist. the x-rays showed mangled fingers etc that looked like rheumatoid arthritis but i tested negative for the r.a. markers and that's what stumped my family doctor.</p><p>the rheumatologist asked me countless <span> questions, then his old nurse asked me more questions and they said they would get back to me. the next time he asked me more questions and he seemed to know more about me than i knew myself. he had my complete family history at this fingertips. ain't technology wonderful. the result was a diagnosis of erosive osteoarthritis. a good news, bad news diagnosis.</span></p><p>it's better than rheumatoid arthritis but a lot worse than other forms of arthritis. i didn't pay much attention after he told me that i didn't have rheumatoid arthritis because i was happy that my immune system wasn't running amok. but the next day i read all about erosive osteoarthritis and got a little bummed out. it looks like my hands will be pretty fucked in 5 years.</p><p>my fingers are very sore and if i do too much work or lifting, the pain lasts all day and i get wonderful streams of pain going up my arms. the doctor asked me how much tylenol/advil i was taking and happily told me not to worry, i could up my dosage a few times before thinking about other options.</p><p>i was bummed out for about a day but luckily i decided to shift realities. my new reality will feature the biggest tv i can fit into the bat cave and an upgraded killer sound system. i'll also do a lot of fishing.</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="391" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pHfhbk-oPFw" width="470" youtube-src-id="pHfhbk-oPFw"></iframe></div><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-66012300978713977992021-05-02T15:07:00.002-07:002021-05-02T17:11:45.883-07:00trying times<p>we live in trying times and unfortunately there are some things in life that can't be fixed by shifting realities. last year i bought some expensive weed seeds, 6 seeds for $70, and i wasted 3 seeds before figuring out the correct procedure. basically it was a total failure, not only did i blow money on seeds, i also bought grow lights, fertilizer and assorted other accessories. but i still had 2 seeds and the plan was to grow a mighty weed tree this summer.</p><p>i got a seed to grow and nurtured it for 2 months waiting for the spring weather but disaster struck. my 4 legged partner in crime decided to have a weed salad and i came home to charlie brown's christmas tree. the plant isn't dead but it's on life support in my basement ICU.</p><p>and this morning reality bit me in the arse again. a few months ago i had the drive train replaced in an old kona lava dome i bought last summer after having another old classic kona bike stolen. as i was riding home this morning my rear brakes started acting up and the only thing i could do was disconnect the brake cable in order to ride it home. once i got home and put on some strong reading glasses, i discovered the problem, my rim blew out. it's a real let down because it had a brand new cassette attached to the rim with the new drive train. the smart move would be to dump the bike and buy a new one but i love old classic konas so it will be a tough decision.</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp3QEfEpx3lCJYzNJJh_ZB6sNN9r0lCZ1UzqSEStRlM8OZMZCtVOQfJ1_4iwMvx9FxppHSySaeS8t4ntcA3isQneq8z4BtHLD5X4p8K5E2u-IAHRZcK5J6Fh6W4zeLRds-d_OndcG5xp0E/s2048/may+2+2021+%25281%2529.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp3QEfEpx3lCJYzNJJh_ZB6sNN9r0lCZ1UzqSEStRlM8OZMZCtVOQfJ1_4iwMvx9FxppHSySaeS8t4ntcA3isQneq8z4BtHLD5X4p8K5E2u-IAHRZcK5J6Fh6W4zeLRds-d_OndcG5xp0E/s320/may+2+2021+%25281%2529.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><p></p>E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-5822785328691806852021-04-12T15:43:00.001-07:002021-04-12T15:45:05.813-07:00only one reality<p> my old electric lawnmower finally croaked a few weeks ago. it was a long and painful death that took a few years but she lived a long and fruitful life. i thought the motor had burned out a few years ago but it was a sears craftsman mower and it refused to die. this year it was the 2 rust holes that had me thinking it was the end of the line but trying to cut heavy wet grass killed her before she could rust away.</p><p>today the adventure was trying to dispose of her which turned into an unplanned adventure. the usual recycling depot was shut down and the city told me to take her to a commercial metal recycling facility that turned out to be very difficult to find. in hindsight, i should have taken the new phone with me and used the map app but the phone hasn't left my desktop since i activated it.</p><p>it was a huge commercial operation with a steady flow of huge trucks dumping stuff and there i was walking around with a lawnmower looking like a migrant gardener until a employee came out of the office to tell me i was in the wrong place. when i told him that the city directed me there, he sighed and told me to leave it by some large bins. upon reaching the bins, i noticed 2 bicycle wheels and being a hard wired scavenger i crawled over some junk and retrieved them. son of bitch, they had brand new tires and were rock hard! of course i snagged them and took them home. </p><p>some realities might change, but i'll always be scruffy scavenger at heart. </p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="402" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pupVjQBwASo" width="483" youtube-src-id="pupVjQBwASo"></iframe></div><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-7404466327164784662021-04-01T18:38:00.009-07:002021-04-01T18:48:43.914-07:00shifting realities<p> so far i'm really enjoying my journey into shifting realities, it's almost the highlight the of my day. i've read a few articles on shifting realities where the *fool is instructed to have a destination in mind before beginning the quest. so far i've resisted thinking about a destination or goal, instead the only constant in my quest is my companion. my companion has 4 feet and really needs a bath.</p><p>one great benefit of the shifting reality is it's allowing me to see my problems and challenges from a different point of view. having a different approach to a problem can make life a lot easier. seeing my problems from a different point of view allows me to separate mountains from mole hills. hopefully i'll have a lot more mole hills than mountains in my future.</p><p>the one major change in my current reality is i am now a member of the collective. i hate to admit it but for the first time in my life i am the owner of an activated cell phone, something that i've resisted for decades. when i was working at the cracker factory, i refused the benefit of a free cell phone. the reason for now possessing an activated cell phone is my doctor ordered me to get one. i've had it for a week now and it hasn't left my desktop. in a few months i'll be taking it out to the back yard to take pictures of the fish.</p><p>getting the phone was not a simple task. it would have been easy to contact one of the large providers and pick a plan, but i'm hard wired to find the cheapest alternative. i found cheap third party provider that was basically an on-line service with no human assistance. the company had a directory of physical locations but the locations given were nothing more than mail drops. the first place i went to was real shithole with trash everywhere and an asian guy sitting at a desk covered in used electronic parts. when i tried to get service the only thing answer i received was "he not here". when i asked if there were any other stores around, without looking up he said "go to mall".</p><p>the mall was like being in hong kong. there were probably 50 stores and about 20 were phone repairs and service. i thought that walking into a store and asking for directions was a simple and straight forward task, but no, not one person was willing to help me so i had to hop on the bike and pedal home to get the store number. armed with the store number, it was easy to find what i was looking for and luckily a young woman spoke english and was willing to sell me the service and install a sim card into the old iphone my princess gave me. all the signage in the store was chinese but through the miracle of modern technology she was able to hand me a contract and instructions in english.</p><p>*fool - i like to think of myself as "the fool" from a deck of tarot cards.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="450" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lj60OAh7O5U" width="542" youtube-src-id="lj60OAh7O5U"></iframe></div><br /><p><br /></p>E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-31873377045267802732021-03-26T10:29:00.001-07:002021-03-26T11:01:47.244-07:00<p> the search continues</p><p>as luck would have it, the journey in search of a higher power took an unexpected turn. i can't remember what led me in this direction but i'm giving credit to my lucky coin which is giving me a lot of comfort. the source of the comfort is irrelevant, the bottom is i need all the comfort i can get.</p><p>what i have stumbled upon is shifting realities. my default reality can be challenging and if i am unable to change the terms and conditions of my present reality, why not shift realities? there are many ways to shift reality but it's not something you can buy on line and to truly shift realities and it should be done without the use of drugs. in other words, shifting reality requires a little work which is a good thing. if it was possible to snap your fingers and shift reality, it would be very difficult to take ownership of your new reality. </p><p>on a very basic level, cable news in the united states presents different realities. one network praised the actions of past president while a different network condemned the same actions. neither network presented a unbiased account of the person's actions, a simple statement of truth was not as profitable to the networks as was shifting the reality of the person's actions. this is why a shifting reality is something that you must acquire by your own actions, it is next to impossible to find a human without ulterior motives.</p><p>in the new pope, john malkovich does an outstanding job of presenting his new reality. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/oPd1R_fPRrA" width="434" youtube-src-id="oPd1R_fPRrA"></iframe></div><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-42544995865028270042021-03-22T15:46:00.004-07:002021-03-23T08:36:37.017-07:00god?<p> a few weeks ago my brain did its best microsoft impression and decided to do an update and restart. all updates are not created equal and i found myself thinking that i was in a forest beside a fast moving stream. when my operating system was fully restored i found myself lying on the kitchen floor with water streaming out of the faucet at full strength. i was perplexed and as it turned out, quite thoroughly bruised.</p><p>after getting to my feet i remember checking the clock on stove and it was 5:02 pm. the big question was, what time did the update and restart begin? my best guess was 4:45, so there were about 20 minutes to account for and the rip wasn't giving me any clues. i can't remember much of that evening but 5:02 is imprinted in my mind. being unstuck in time can be challenging.</p><p>several days ago i had this desire to find a higher power. did the update and restart of my operating system plant a virus in my brain that was prompting me to find a higher power? or perhaps the higher power took notice of a lost soul and gave me a nudge. i find myself having more questions than answers but that can be said of any right thinking person so the bottom line is i'm just another brick in the wall.</p><p>my first thoughts of a higher power revolved around jesus but i quickly realized that was because our society continually bombards us with religious rhetoric. it's wonderful that we have have the internet because it allowed me to rule out organized religion very quickly. jesus is still an option but if i head in that direction i'll cut out the middleman and seek a direct line.</p><p>is there a god? as a young man i was a devout atheist but i now realize that there are millions of people way smarter than myself who believe in god so although i'm a non believer, i do realize that there is a good chance that i'm wrong.</p><p>however, if there is a god of the universe i am 100% certain that the version of god we have been sold is not the true gospel.</p><p>if god created the universe, the real 10 commandments are the laws of physics, not the stuff organized religion uses to try and keep us humans in line.</p><p>at first i thought the goal was to find comfort in a higher power but after a few days of contemplation i remembered that the best way to ruin a good project is to finish it so for now i just hope to enjoy the journey and a journey is no more than a very long series of connected moments.</p><p>so for now i'll just "enjoy the moment".</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="379" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/QIriNloR1ts" width="456" youtube-src-id="QIriNloR1ts"></iframe></div><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-29967031654137700292021-03-20T10:21:00.003-07:002021-03-20T11:00:13.341-07:00<p>everything old is new again.</p><p>several years ago the blog became tiresome and the quality of bullshit i posted seemed to morph into horseshit. bullshit is one thing but horseshit was a real wake up call.</p><p>so now i'm back, big whoop eh?</p><p>why am i back.......... ?</p><p>i have no idea why i'm back but the real question is how long will i stick with this before some other shiny object catches my eye and lures me away.</p><p>now that i'm back, i need a new theme. no, not a theme. </p><p>i need a good gimmick.</p><p>any suggestions?</p><p>no? well then i better log out and google gimmick.</p><p>hopefully i'll have a decent gimmick for the next post.</p><p><br /></p><p>i feel this poor guy's pain.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/U5Mwc12LtRY" width="320" youtube-src-id="U5Mwc12LtRY"></iframe></div><br /><p><br /></p>E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-90840059290089092722017-12-12T09:56:00.000-08:002017-12-12T16:37:37.259-08:00coyotesi spotted a starving coyote in the park and it was also missing over half of its fur so feeding coyotes has become my charitable cause for the season. the first 3 days i dropped off a bag of dried dog food each afternoon and when i checked the next morning, it was gone. i poured the food onto the ground so some animal had to have came and ate it, this made me happy. but when i checked this morning, almost all of the food was still there? wtf?<br />
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the first 3 days i had dropped off high protein salmon dried dog food but yesterday i dropped off chicken/rice. are the starving animals picky?<br />
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i think the reason is they're nocturnal creatures and can smell the salmon as they forage but the chicken/rice stuff doesn't have nearly as distinctive of an aroma. this afternoon i'm going to mix in a little real beef with the chicken/rice food and see what happens.<br />
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this little adventure is working out well. not only do i get a warm feeling from feeding the wildlife, i'm ending up with a cool little high school science project. i'm pretty sure that i can rule out rats taking the food. it either has to be coyotes or raccoons.<br />
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merry feckin' xmas<br />
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billy loves you sons of bitches.E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-38085587289802399642017-11-21T09:41:00.002-08:002017-11-21T09:43:41.988-08:00seeds and kneesthe giant chinese pumpkin seeds finally arrived and they sure don't look giant to me. in fact, they're the smallest pumpkin seeds i've ever seen. maybe i'll buy some giant seeds from the ukraine. there are still two orders from china in the mail so maybe something good will arrive but i'm highly skeptical.<br />
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last week i ordered some ink jet cartridges from amazon and mistakingly assumed that i was buying them from amazon but after the order was placed and paid for, i noticed the goddamned things were coming from china. this will be a test to see if amazon has better chinese quality control than e-bay. once again i'm highly skeptical and will probably end up buying a laser printer.<br />
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last week i went to the doctor for my annual check up and to get the results of the blood tests and knee scan and received quite a surprise. my family doctor wasn't there so i had to deal with a different doctor from the same office. my blood work and urine were just fine so that was the good news. but the knee news was not good.<br />
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for years i've had a very sore right knee and my doctor told me it was due to a lack of synovial fluid and he also removed some scar tissue which helped but he always told me the the knee was structurally sound. the replacement doctor went through my records and showed me the history. it seems my knee has shown wear and tear since 2012 and they've just been waiting for the right time to tell me about knee replacement surgery. this totally pisses me off, why the hell haven't they been telling me about the structural problems?????<br />
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it looks like the sons of bitches have been managing my expectations more than treating the problem. after a bit of research on knee replacement i've decided to delay it as long as possible and hope for improvements in the the surgical procedure. it seems that they've recently come up with a procedure which is less invasive and does less damage to the thigh muscles. maybe they'll be able to sprinkle a few stem cells on the knee in a few years.<br />
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i'll probably have a new knee before successfully growing a giant pumpkin.<br />
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billy loves you sons of bitches.E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-74000854541886648302017-11-10T14:41:00.000-08:002017-11-10T14:41:13.983-08:00back in the game baby!many years ago and several blogs ago i used to bullshit about all the scavenging i would do. i would get up at 4:00 am and head to the park with ruby. the youths and thugs would be out partying the night before and leave huge amounts of empty liquor bottles/cans and what ever else they lost while getting shit faced drunk. normal people wouldn't venture into the park infested with thugs in the dark but i had ruby. thugs and bikers like pitbulls.<br />
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i still pick up any empty beer cans i come across, maybe $5 a month, but i don't do it with the gusto of yesteryear. but last week i found a pair of converse chuck taylors in the park and today i came across an old stove in the lane behind some apartments. (i was on my way back from the supermarket where i had sampled several lindt chocolate balls) the converse sneakers just happen to fit me perfectly, an act of god if i ever witnessed one.<br />
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i've been on the lookout for old stove burners for a long time and finally got lucky. our stove has one burner that is on its last legs and the hardware store wanted $35 for a new one. i plugged a replacement burner in and it quickly went red hot. so i got that going for me too.<br />
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previously i've mentioned the bean soup mental happiness evaluation technique. the more often i make home made bean soup, the better my state of mind. so far i've made 2 pots of bean this fall and now some world class scavenging. the bean soup index is far more reliable than any diagnosis from an over paid psychiatrist. brain be happy.<br />
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141 days until baseball season begins, i'll need about 10 big pots of bean soup.<br />
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billy loves you sons of bitches.E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-73064103662412210852017-10-25T10:08:00.001-07:002017-10-25T10:18:04.760-07:00hello sunshineyesterday was a glorious autumn day in the great pacific northwest but today is a stinker, cold and wet. but all is not lost, the weatherman tells us it will be warm and sunny for the next few days after this little bump in the road. it might just be the last opportunity to wash the bed sheets and let them soak up the sun for a wonderful bedtime experience.<br />
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the weather is promising and last night was an excellent start to the world series, kershaw was on his game and the game was worthy of storage on the pvr. i have all the previous dodger games on the pvr and will add the remaining world series games to the collection. i'll watch these games throughout the winter. although i'll remember which team wins the series, i'll forget the the details and enjoy the encore, maybe more than once.<br />
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baseball is a state of mind, adding synchronicity and order to a world gone mad. watching the concentration and sweat drip off the pitcher's face as he shakes off signals from the catcher gives me faith in the human spirit. it's a battle, the bases might loaded with nobody out but a good pitcher like kershaw doesn't despair, he battles.<br />
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i'm still on the hunt for a new glove but haven't been able to find the perfect fit. the sporting goods stores have a poor selection at the moment so i'll probably have to wait until spring and who knows, i might find my old glove in the meantime. the woman's glove i picked up earlier is a great glove, too bad the son of a bitch has all that pink trim. the rip needs a strong role model and a male human wearing a pink baseball glove might harm her psyche.<br />
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i've finished the gnostic gospels and it's just like all the other religions. it sounds terrific but there are a lot of strings attached with no guarantees. the one good thing about gnosticism is good old mary magdalene gets a fair shake, not like the raw deal she was given by those misogynists padding their expense accounts at the council of nicea. countless strings attached and no guarantee of eternal bliss, i'll remain a religious free agent.<br />
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faith solicited does not equal faith freely given and the guys in charge of religion don't give much stuff away for free.<br />
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billy loves you sons of bitches.E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-88260369431935879982017-10-15T16:17:00.000-07:002017-10-15T16:35:54.795-07:00adios sunshinethe warm weather is gone and the struggle with winter is about to begin, i hope i'm ready.<br />
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after the harrowing experience of being kidnapped by a nogoodnik neighborhood punk, the scooter is in dry dock. i spent the better part of yesterday cleaning out and organizing all the treasures and clutter that were collected in the summer to make room the poor thing. the oil was changed, the tank was filled with ethonal-free high octane gas and now it's just a matter of finding the trickle charger to finish the task.<br />
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i've had the scooter for two summers now and try as i may, i couldn't come up with a good nickname, but this morning jesus whispered the magical nickname in my ear.<br />
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from this point forward, the mighty scooter shall be known as MACK. mack is a very important name in classic literature. it was mack who ended the reign of terror from yertle, the tyrant of salamasond and it was mack who organized the mighty frog hunt in cannery row. yes, mack is a titan of classic literature. long live mack and thank you jesus!<br />
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but scooters aren't the center of my universe at the moment. the baseball playoffs have me in seventh heaven. yesterday i watched verlander throw a complete game for the astros with 13 strikeouts! it's pretty rare to see a complete game pitched in the era of bullpens and pitch counts. the cherry on top was the fact that it was against those evil new york yankees! verlander's cherry on top is kate upton.<br />
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the dodgers beat the cubs which was great but kershaw only lasted 5 innings which has me worried. kershaw is my favorite player and he was on the disabled list this year due to a back strain and that gives me pause. kershaw vs verlander in the world series would be a match made in heaven.<br />
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speaking of heaven, i've decided it might be the place for me after all. studying the nag hammadi library by day and orgasming on baseball in the evening has convinced me that there just might be something to the intelligent design point of view.<br />
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mack, verlander, kershaw, nag hammadi library...........<br />
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billy loves you sons of bitches.E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-56222929975033599792017-10-09T09:31:00.001-07:002017-10-09T11:25:00.239-07:00i be thankfultoday is canuck thanksgiving, big deal eh? but i'm thankful.<br />
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i'm thankful because there are 4 playoff baseball games on today and thanksgiving is over for me. i cooked a prime rib roast yesterday and i didn't fuck it up.<br />
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yesterday was a beautiful sunny day, possibly the last sunny warm day of the year for us and i took full advantage of it. i sat in the sun, on the old aluminum web lawn chair and read oscar wilde's de profundis for the 3rd time in a month. it's a beautiful piece of literature.<br />
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the second half of de profundis is about wilde's perception and relationship with christ, it's the tenderest and most sincere depiction of christ that i've ever come across. that's why i've read it 3 times recently and why i'll probably read it a few more times before the year ends. it fills me with contentment and a tiny bit of humility and has moved me to absorb more of the christian spirit.<br />
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i might have the spirit of christ but i didn't just fall off the turnip truck. i realize that the official new testament is a product of the council of nicea and is more of a political compromise than an accurate account of events that may or may not have taken place. in order to fill my thirst for all things christ i turned to the public library and made my selection, the complete idiots guide to the gnostic gospels.<br />
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you can call me doubting thomas.<br />
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can you not believe in god and still be a christian? me and oscar think it's not just possible, it's the logical thing to do. christians aren't into smiting those that give us pause.<br />
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billy says feed the needy, not the greedy.E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-78033378657506636352017-10-03T11:09:00.000-07:002017-10-03T11:09:48.031-07:00knotsit's all over now but the shouting as far as splitting wood goes. yesterday i decided to do battle with the few renegade knots which had caused me grief back in august. the sons of bitches didn't get any weaker after a month of drying out.<br />
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you wouldn't believe how securely this knot was embedded in the trunk<br />
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it took a sledge hammer, two wedges, a hand saw and an impact driver to break the bond of love between those two seemingly innocent pieces of wood. but in the end, justice was served.<br />
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here's another knot that i removed over a month ago. this is knot was my nemesis, i hurt my back taking golf swings with the mattock to break it up. the injury occurred when i missed the son of a bitch and tried to control my follow through, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.<br />
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the lovely mrs myshkin and most of the neighbors thought i was crazy battling the wood. but i saved several hundred dollars and learned a lot about how trees are constructed. so it goes.<br />
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billy loves you sons of bitches.E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-6394542449353600032017-09-23T19:01:00.000-07:002017-09-23T19:03:17.193-07:00scooter be gonesome rat bastard son of a bitch stole my scooter!!!!<br />
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monday evening, as i was leaving to take the rip for her usual evening stroll in park, i noticed something was amiss, my scooter was gone!!! the big question was whether to rush back and call the police or take rip out for her walk. i decided to take rip for her walk before calling the police.<br />
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upon returning, i called the police and obtained a file number which i used to file an insurance claim. then i decided to have a hot bath to relax. just after hopping into the tub, the doorbell rang. i had to quickly hop out of the tub and get dressed to greet the strong arm of the law. the rat bastard thief not only ruined the evening stroll with rip, he/she ruined my bath!<br />
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the next day i resigned myself to losing the scooter but then started worrying about the house being burgled. i decided that it was time to reassess my security and start locking doors when i wasn't home. there was only one problem, i only had keys for one door and could not locate the missing keys. son of a bitch, i would have to get organized and start taking the time to lock and unlock doors when making quick trips shopping or walking the rip. what a hassle, eh?<br />
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on wednesday evening after i hopped into a steaming hot bath tub the goddamned door bell rang again, it was the police again. the officer told me that my scooter had been found and it was in my back yard. somehow they got the theft location and the recovery location switched around. after swearing on a stack of bibles that i didn't have the scooter the officer re-checked her information and left to confirm where the scooter had been found. this time i stayed away from the bath tub.<br />
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the officer returned and escorted me to the scooter. yes, it was my scooter and it seemed to be none the worse for wear. the first thing i did was unlock the seat and see if my turtle helmet was still there and yes it was. but more importantly my riding gloves were still there. the gloves were an old beat up pair of black leather dress gloves that my dad used for yard work. losing those gloves was bumming me out more than the thought of losing the scooter.<br />
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in summation:<br />
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scooter was gone<br />
scooter is back<br />
leo be happy.<br />
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i don't want a pickle, i just want a motorcycle.<br />
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billy loves you sons of bitches.E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-43737960819147300312017-09-18T18:26:00.001-07:002017-09-18T18:29:49.648-07:00baseball!baseball, it's almost playoff time baby!<br />
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earlier this summer i became obsessed with getting a few genuine mlb balls. any idiot can buy a new ball but i wanted a few that were genuine and had actually been handled by real players so the hunt was on. i found cool store on the west side so it was time to hop on the scooter and score some balls!</div>
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i bought a few and liked them so much i went and bought more. </div>
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last week while watching a game on tv and fondling my balls i decided it was time to dig out my old glove. i searched everywhere and couldn't find it. i even hauled everything out of the crawl space and still no glove. i was totally bummed out. it was a great glove that my parents bought me almost 50 years ago and it was very well used and cared for. a perfect pocket and beautiful smooth soft leather. it might still be around the house but the hunt was on for a new glove.</div>
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i wanted to get a rawlings heart of the hide or wilson A2000 but couldn't find the right color and model so it was time to hit craigslist. i couldn't find what i wanted but ended up buying 3 not so great gloves. i went to look at one glove but the silver tongued devil selling it talked me into buying 2. then he threw in a 3rd glove for free.</div>
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two of them were hard as rocks so it's giving me something to do, soften the sons of bitches up. so i soaked the brown one in water and tied it up, i tied up the black one without soaking it so i could compare the success of the techniques. in a few days i'll untie the brown one, toss it in the dryer and begin working on the son of a bitch.</div>
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the smaller brown/pink glove was the free throw in and it's really an interesting glove, an 11 inch woman's fastpitch glove. it's a really cool little glove with a large pocket for the large ball. a fastpitch ball is larger than a baseball but smaller than a softball. </div>
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so far i love the woman's glove. my only problem is rip keeps trying to steal my balls.</div>
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spark a bud and fondle my balls. if that isn't nice, what is?</div>
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billy loves you sons of bitches. </div>
E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-58638174177509561182017-09-13T18:03:00.000-07:002017-09-13T18:03:10.056-07:00nix pineapplesthe pineapple tomatoes were a resounding failure. the plants grew very well and produced 16 good sized tomatoes, but i couldn't give the goddamned things away! i ate one myself and the lovely mrs myshkin threw one into some sort of stew but that's about it. i ended up with a bowl of "throwing" fruit.<br />
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the patio tomatoes were a smashing success, lots of fruit and low maintenance. but i did learn that patio tomatoes grow better when not in a pot on the patio. the pot quickly dries out in the sun and if you add too much water too quickly, the fruit gets some sort of rot on the underbelly. it will be patio tomatoes in the garden next year. hopefully the patio tomatoes will provide enough misdirection so that the lovely mrs myshkin won't notice the giant chinese pumpkins until they need a crane and forklift to be moved.<br />
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it's almost time to begin the annual deadwood marathon and i'm all fired up after watching john wick and john wick 2. i was very pleasantly surprised to find al swearengen (ian mcshane) in the first john wick and pleased as punch to see that mcshane had larger part in john wick 2. <br />
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if you like al swearengen and have a fondness for pitbull type dogs, you gotta watch this clip. it's totally excellent.<br />
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john wick, al swearengen and a cool dog!<br />
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if this isn't nice, what is!!!!<br />
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billy says he loves you sons of bitches.E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-33118700535072915252017-09-03T11:22:00.001-07:002017-09-03T11:32:19.087-07:00windows 10windows 10: <br />
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TO THE LAST, I GRAPPLE WITH THEE<br />
FROM HELL'S HEART, I STAB AT THEE<br />
FOR HATE'S SAKE, I SPIT MY LAST BREATH AT THEE!<br />
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yes, i hate windows 10 with a passion. i always think it's looking over my shoulder and recording my every move. and i'm sick to death of getting messages that my "one-drive" is full and i better go buy some more storage or something nasty will happen.<br />
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after throwing a tantrum yesterday, my daughter happened to drop by and spent a few minutes monkeying around with it, now all is well with the world. "one-drive" has been given a one-way bus ticket to siberia. i had asked sonny about it a few times and he blew me off. my daughter is an apple person and never uses windows 10 but she figured it out very quickly. i wish she would drop by more often.<br />
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i've been coerced into going to a bar-b-q this evening and there will probably get into a good argument with a few "clintonistas". yes, us crazy canadians argue more about american politics than our own politics. for some funny reason, these canadian "clintonistas" blame poor old bernie for clinton's loss at the polls. a few months ago, several "clintonistas" ganged up on me when i voiced support for bernie.<br />
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i hate hillary more today than a few months ago and i'm pretty sure the "clintonistas" have figured out a way to blame bernie for north korea's adventures with hydrogen bombs.<br />
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eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we may die, and i'd rather spend eternity with bernie bots than clintonistas. (but the trumpsters probably throw better parties)<br />
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what can i say, i'm just a ...................<br />
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billy loves you sons of bitches.E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-56825022131121438382017-08-27T16:29:00.000-07:002017-08-27T16:38:15.998-07:00woodi sincerely apologize to my international readership for another post about my adventures in wood splitting. after taking a break to rest my weary bones, yesterday i was back at it. a few gnarly and highly uncooperative chunks of wood met their maker. it's been an excellent learning experience for me, too bad it's happened so late in life. my dad was always splitting wood but he never took the time to give me any advice, he just gave me that axe and told me to start whacking.<br />
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i was having a hard time holding a wedge and bashing it with the big sledge hammer so this morning i hopped on the scooter and picked up a small 4 lb sledge.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigCes5RJjrOmI3lezUVenpWrjj0Zq4aGp-lrso6riB81j7dsk9DjjYF9DPhhkQ5S8euM43A7bywMg_8GcCalfb-v2uWRnjBckU2OM7LIJwEn7G7nvRMRjxxH8tdyDdOzrYOsOZyhbuaQm6/s1600/DSC00859.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigCes5RJjrOmI3lezUVenpWrjj0Zq4aGp-lrso6riB81j7dsk9DjjYF9DPhhkQ5S8euM43A7bywMg_8GcCalfb-v2uWRnjBckU2OM7LIJwEn7G7nvRMRjxxH8tdyDdOzrYOsOZyhbuaQm6/s400/DSC00859.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
it's a terrific little piece of equipment, i should have picked one up years ago. but 30 years ago i was strong enough to swing a full sized sledge hammer with one hand. so it goes.<br />
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the photo above is a patio tomato that has a few specimens ready to pick but i'll keep them on the vine for a few days just to annoy the lovely mrs myshkin when i boast of my success.<br />
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here's photo of a "pineapple" tomato. from what i've read, pineapple tomatoes don't turn red so it's hard to get an exact reading on how ripe they are. i love the smell of tomato plants and i also love it when spiders arrive in late summer. i'll not only be monitoring the tomato, i'll be monitoring the growth of my favorite spider.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCHL-D2zqc8ATHyj9y3F-yfXrwttlgiWGSsFzuLfNQyDCsy7b6VGhyphenhyphena6BCwwnL_Jp1bZWdpR1F7yDsZa4ZcnM0yGXAdVx3Tl8ZMR5MdHVW_laSZ9VkcSsY-OKRKUtIsulJNDB7Q9Utl9k7/s1600/DSC00853.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCHL-D2zqc8ATHyj9y3F-yfXrwttlgiWGSsFzuLfNQyDCsy7b6VGhyphenhyphena6BCwwnL_Jp1bZWdpR1F7yDsZa4ZcnM0yGXAdVx3Tl8ZMR5MdHVW_laSZ9VkcSsY-OKRKUtIsulJNDB7Q9Utl9k7/s640/DSC00853.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
now here's my excellent household tip for those readers who have bothered to read this until the end.<br />
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if your garbage stinks in the hot summer weather, throw a freshly split piece of wood into the bin. our garbage is no longer picked up every week, now it's bi-weekly and in the hot summer weather, it can really stink. a few weeks ago i tossed a piece of gnarly wood in the bottom of the bin and the disgusting garbage odor was replaced with the wonderful aroma of douglas fir. it's similar to cedar.<br />
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billy says he loves you sons of bitches.E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-49095121718597831512017-08-20T18:04:00.001-07:002017-08-20T18:05:16.009-07:00the gardeni'm still battling the wood and for now, the wood is winning. i was using the mattock trying to break up the toughest knot in the western hemisphere and got the bright idea of trying a different angle. i teed up the wood and took my mightiest golf swing at the son of a bitch. it was a great plan, but i lifted my head and missed that rat bastard piece of wood, i pulled a muscle trying to control the follow through. i'm taking at least a week off. hopefully my ears will stop ringing while waiting for the muscles to heal.<br />
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on the plus side of the ledger, my tomatoes are doing very well. a bumper crop and the little darlings are beginning to ripen. ain't nothing in the world like homegrown tomatoes.<br />
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now it's time to build on the tomato success and try something a little more challenging. i'm pleased to announce that i've been the winning bidder on some giant pumpkin seeds on ebay. i could have played it safe and spent $10 on some tried and true north american pumpkin seeds, but my inner cheapness took over and i'll be growing giant chinese pumpkins.<br />
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giant chinese pumpkin seeds; what are the chances i'll end up with a squash or cucumber? i'm not going to tell the lovely mrs myshkin that i'm growing giant pumpkins, she's a real wet blanket when it comes to my brilliant ideas.<br />
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billy says he still loves you sons of bitches.E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-78352843016616925352017-08-10T10:49:00.001-07:002017-08-10T11:12:02.852-07:00ouchwho knew gnarly wood was goddamned difficult to split?<br />
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i took a break due to ringing in my ears and general stiffness. sonny gave me some foam earplugs along with strict instructions on how to properly use them. but what the hell, who needs ear plugs for a few test chops? well, the problem with a few test chops is once the adrenaline kicks in, a few chops can quickly become many chops and the goddamned ears started ringing again so it was time to take a few days off.</div>
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then sonny came through with 2 new wedges for me; a standard wedge and a star shaped "wood grenade". i decided to start with a modest sized piece of knotted wood. but before i could say, bob's your uncle, i had the axe stuck in the wood. no problemo, right? just pull out the wedges. </div>
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as they say, the best laid plans of mice and men.......</div>
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soon i had the axe and both wedges stuck in this motherfucker piece of wood. i must have whacked both wedges over 50 times with a good sized sledge hammer and that fucking piece of wood would not budge! then i spent almost an hour trying to get them out. i ended up using an impact driver along with a hammer and chisel to get them out. once again, i was dripping sweat and the ears were ringing. and i had a few slivers in my hand!</div>
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a few days later i started again. this time i was more selective and gave the more gnarly pieces a pass. with this new approach i managed to split several pieces. but my ears started ringing and somehow or other i whacked my finger with sledge hammer. now i'm typing with nine fingers and it hurts. as does my shoulder and back.</div>
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but fear not. i'm not giving up. tomorrow i'll be back at it. it's become personal between me and the wood, my honor is at stake. of course the lovely mrs myshkin is giving me zero support and plenty of criticism. so it goes.</div>
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billy loves you sons of bitches.</div>
E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206861943210593547.post-23309060724036063682017-08-03T18:12:00.000-07:002017-08-08T15:20:06.869-07:00sweating like a pigsweating like pig, and loving it!<br />
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a few days ago i had a giant tree cut down. i loved that tree but it was getting too dangerous. when we first moved here, i took a look at the tree and thought; "if it falls and kills me, it's a good way to go". but then i got to thinking, what if the son of a bitch falls down on a car load of syrian refugees? i'd be bankrupt!<br />
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this is only a small part of the wood! i put a free firewood sign in front of it and so far a few rounds have been picked up. i've spent a fair bit of time in the hot sun trying to split some to give away to friends and it is really hard to split this stuff when it's just been cut. i've been using a wedge and sledge hammer that work pretty good but it's really, really hard work in the sun. like i said, i've been sweating like a pig.<br />
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the first day i spent about 90 minutes splitting it before calling it a day. as soon as i finished, i noticed that my ears were ringing, bummer eh? this morning i started again but put moist kleenex in my ears. once again i really got into sweating like a pig and quite enjoyed it until my ears started ringing again, double bummer eh? so i called sonny and he's giving me some industrial ear plugs that he uses in mine sites etc. in a few minutes i'll be hopping on the scooter to pick them up.<br />
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this afternoon i went out to clean things up and when i came back to the house i noticed that the sole on one of my loafers was encased in sap. that sap shit is hard to get off, triple bummer eh?<br />
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i'm gonna be busy for the next few weeks. i might head to the hardware store and pick up another wedge, some of those big sons of bitches are really hard to split.<br />
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billy loves you sons of bitches.E. Rosewaterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03935662703893558945noreply@blogger.com12