Sunday, 26 March 2017

john be gone

the 15 minutes of nightly bliss that john from cincinnati gave me has come to an end, mega bummer. it's a great series and it gave me a lot of laughs. it only lasted one season and that is a crying shame. there were parts of it that rival the big lebowski for making me laugh out loud but all things must pass and now it's time to decide on what to watch for my nightly 15 minutes of bliss.  john from cincinnati is a tough act to follow. the other decision i'm facing is how long should i wait before watching john again. 2 years?

fuck me, a few minutes ago i was totally flummoxed as to what to watch but jesus came through for me again. that son of bitch really knows his tv.  the rip from cincinnati and i will be watching.............................................

the mighty boosh!





the big fuck me at the moment is income tax.  i'm one of the holdouts who refuses to file on-line. it's certainly a lot easier to just enter the figures and let the computer do the rest but i get a better of grasp of what's going on by sitting down and putting pen to paper. it's crucial to have your ducks in a row should the taxman decide to ask a few questions. but if the taxman does ask too many questions, here's my standard answer:

this is very complicated case, maude.  you know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lot of what-have-yous. and uh, a lot of strands to keep in my head, man.

billy says he loves you sons of bitches.


Wednesday, 15 March 2017

knives

for some unknown reason, i recently decided that i needed a new pocket knife. it was probably that guy whose dad arranged for him to be nailed to a cross  whispering sweet nothings in my ear again. that son of a bitch won't leave me alone after i've sparked a bud or two. i still haven't figured out if he whispers in my ear because he genuinely likes me or if he's just fuckin' with me.

the first knife i picked up was a BUCK MINI ICEMAN. it was dirt cheap and it feels real good in my hand so i have no buyer's remorse. it has thumb studs for one handed opening which isn't exactly easy with this small knife. it was a struggle to open with the thumb stud and it hurt my thumb but i kept fritzing around with it until i mastered the technique. then i looked at my thumb and it was bleeding! now my thumb hurts like crazy so i'm trying to stop playing with it until it heals.

since my thumb was injured, i decided to pick up a knife that opens with a flipper: BUCK VANTAGE SELECT. the flipper works better than the thumb studs so once again i have no buyer's remorse. after playing with it for a day, my index finger hurts and i can't open it as quickly as i could when it first arrived but the index finger is not damaged like the thumb. just a little sore.

so i have 2 new pocket knives and also have 2 sore fingers. the good thing about having 2 sore fingers is it has dampened my enthusiasm for buying more knives. but the fingers should be good as new by the time the weather improves and the scooter is back on the road. if i get a good enough knife, maybe i can join an outlaw biker gang. now that i've played around with a few cheap knives, i might be able to select a good knife that i'll  actually use rather than just stick in the drawer and forget about it.  so it goes.

billy loves you sons of bitches.

Friday, 3 March 2017

complicated plots

i just finished watching season 6 of game of thrones and i'm not too proud to admit that most of the plot went over my head. i just can't keep up with all the plots, sub-plots, battles, kingdoms, characters and yes, even the fucking dragons. there were 3 dragons and i thought one was killed but now there are 3 dragons again, and those sons of bitches are getting real big.

the decision i have to make is whether to read about the episode on wikipedia before watching it or read about the episode after i've watched it. so far i'm reading about the episode after watching it and even then, i'm usually confused and end up with about 5 tabs being open as i click on characters and kingdoms trying to piece it all together.  one of these days i might begin a marathon and watch all six seasons one after another but i'll probably still have a tough time keeping up with the action.

one problem i have is a lot of the characters are similar and it's hard to keep straight which kingdom they come from and which kingdom they're at war with.  i think the reason that the dwarf is popular is because he's the one character who is instantly recognizable and unique. the mother of dragons is also recognizable because she's the only blonde.

i've asked a few younger people if they can keep up with the plot and they tell me that they also have trouble keeping up with all the action. i'm not sure if they're telling me the truth or just trying to give me a little self confidence.

figuring out this crazy show has now become an obsession. not because i think it's all that great, i just don't want to admit that i'm senile.

on the other hand, john from cincinnati is bringing me more joy than a pond full of turtles on a hot summer's day.

billy loves you sons of bitches

Friday, 24 February 2017

destruction

this trump guy is a hard one to figure out. it's easy to figure him out on a personal level, he's an asshole. one of my favorite expressions has always been: i'd rather be an asshole than an idiot.  now this trump guy has me questioning that expression.  so it goes.

one minute i think trump is a total lunatic and he's going to destroy the world and then the next minute i'm thinking, maybe some good will come of all this nonsense. i'm talking about CREATIVE DESTRUCTION.  or as they say, out with the old and in with the new. there is no doubt that the world economy has been stagnant for the last decade despite the trillions of dollars in quantitative easing.  we now know that trickle down monetary policies are about as ineffective as trickle down fiscal policies.  in both cases, fuck all trickled down from the rich. but that's why the rich are rich, once they get a dollar, it doesn't leave their pocket.

creative destruction is on its way whether or not trump destroys everything first, he might just speed up the process. mechanization and artificial intelligence are here to stay so the big question is, what are the billions of humans going to do?  the answer to that question is easy, we'll do what we always do, reproduce and fight with each other. i guess the big question is, how will we divide the economic pie? the answer that question is also easy, we will not divide the economic pie equally.

has the pie ever been divided equally in the entire history of the human race?

NO!

trump's stated goal of replacing globalism with protectionism leads me to the following question?

would you rather buy a garment produced by a machine in your own country or a garment produced by a human in a less affluent country?

and while we have our thinking caps on;

is a genetically modified cotton plant as evil as a genetically modified corn plant?

just more shit for us to argue over.


so what's a guy to do?

when it comes to the human race, is there any difference between a pessimist and a realist?

billy still loves you sons of bitches.

Friday, 17 February 2017

the duck shoes

several months ago i was on cloud nine after getting the duck shoes, they were super comfortable and of course, very water proof. perfect for walking rip in the wet weather. this morning when i put them on, i happened to look at the side of one shoe and noticed that it had cracked. then i looked at the other shoe and it had also cracked. i was super bummed out. those lousy duck shoes were $80 so i figured that they'd last at least a year, maybe two.

i searched on line and found the receipt and then i had to hook up the printer to get a copy of the receipt and it was off to the shoe store.  the shelves were more than half empty and the clerk was skeptical that they'd have my size but as i'm so fond of saying, somebody up there likes me. they had my size and all was right with the world. new duck shoes, if that isn't nice, what is?

i am thoroughly enjoying john from cincinnati, it has me laughing almost uncontrollably at times, just like the big lebowski. and there's been one added bonus, the rip is now from cincinnati. i often get approached when walking her by people wanting to know what breed she is and since she was a rescue dog, i really don't know. but from now on when people ask, i just say, she's from cincinnati. i've also taken on the identity of butchie yost.  i gotta get fucking high man!

i wish i could find a good clip of butchie in his old vw van but al bundy will have to do.

billy loves you sons of bitches.

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

yuck.......

poor little me was sick as a dog last week. last wednesday i hopped on the bike to ride across town and pick up my favorite extra lean ground beef at the butcher and i ran out of energy, almost collapsed. i always stand up and ride as fast as i can for about 10 minutes to get my blood circulating. it's great cardio but on wednesday i just ran out of energy and had to stop. usually the legs get tired or maybe i get a little out of breath but i can keep going.  this kind of scared me.

the next day i got up and quickly got a bad case of the runs. it turned out to be very similar to the preparation for a colonoscopy. i crapped my brains out all day and felt like death warmed over. i had the norvovirus. it's a type of the flu for which there is apparently no vaccine. the upset stomach lasted about 24 hours and then it took a few days to fully recover.

i ate nothing on day one and just had a few bowls of oatmeal the next day. i've never liked beef or most types of meat and now the thought of any greasy, fatty meat sickens me. my new quest is find a good source of protein that doesn't include meat. for now i'll be eating a little chicken and salmon along with the ground beef in the freezer but only in small portions. who knows, in a year or two i might become a vegan.

on a different note, the deadwood marathon ended last night. for the last few years jack langrishe has been my favorite character and it was no different this time. the first few seasons it was e b farnum that made me laugh, then it was jane cannery who brought a smile to my face and now it's jack. i can look at jack and start smiling before he speaks. ian mcshane and brian cox truly do make deadwood shakespeare of the west.

in case anyone isn't motivated to drink a decent amount of water each day, take a look at what happens when the kidneys aren't cleansed daily. after crapping myself silly whilst ill and dehydrating myself in the process, i'll let swearengen be the  angel on my shoulder whispering in my ear, "drink the fucking water!"

billy loves you sons of bitches.

Tuesday, 31 January 2017

almost there

it's the last day of january and the weather is lovely here in the great pacific northwest, sunny and about 5 degrees c.  the bad news is we might get some snow in a few days but tomorrow is the first day of february and that means march is just around the corner. another 2 months and with any luck i'll be zipping around on the scooter.  that will be heaven on earth for me, hopping on the scooter and wearing nothing but a t shirt, jeans and an old pair of sneakers.

by april i should be a real old freak. last july the kid got married and i was forced to get a short haircut and trim the beard back to almost nothing. i'm pleased to say that i haven't had a haircut  trimmed  the beard since early july. i've decided to let it grow for a year and see how things unfold.
it's almost 7 months now and things are getting pretty scruffy. the kids don't give a shit and find the whole thing quite comical but the lovely mrs myshkin is none too happy with my excellent imitation of a homeless man.

i'll put on my old leather biker jacket and look like a geriatric hells angel on a scooter. maybe i'll even pop into the cracker factory and show the drones what happens when a man no longer has to toe the company line in order to pay the bills. from what i hear, there's been another house cleaning at the cracker factory so most people won't have a clue who i am and will probably call security.

deadwood is almost done for the season so it's time to find a replacement for my 15 minutes of bliss before hopping into bed. it's been a few years since i watched john from cincinnati and i'm dying to hear butchie scream, "i gotta get high,  man!"

billy says i better don't get too high, and he still loves you sons of bitches.