Thursday, 20 July 2017


after taking a year off, i've jumped back into the tomato game. last year my excuse for not planting tomatoes was ripper fatigue. when she sees freshly turned soil, she starts digging. i don't mind filling in holes but i don't like when she trots into the house with muddy feet. the other thing that makes me reluctant to plant tomatoes is her fascination with bees. she'll stand in front of the tomatoes and snap at any poor unsuspecting bee.

since the rip does her best to keep the garden free from bees, pollination can be a problem. this year i planted 2 patio tomato plants and 2 "pineapple" tomato plants. the patio tomatoes seem to be self pollinating:

the "pineapple" tomatoes are  probably just ordinary old tomatoes that someone decided to label "pineapple" because it sounded cool and would probably attract a few lunatics who thought they were going to get pineapples rather than tomatoes. i have to admit that i'm curious to see what kind of tomatoes i end up putting on a burger.

when watching several you tube videos on how to hand pollinate tomatoes, i learned that standard good old tomato plants are called "indeterminates".  that's because they can grow to an indeterminate height. apparently they can reach 50 feet in height under the right conditions. so far the patio tomato plants are a lot easier to look after, minimal pruning.

and here's the bee slayer:

billy says he loves you sons of bitches.

Saturday, 8 July 2017


wow, it'been a while since i've posted anything.

i've had countless topics but out of respect for my sophisticated international readership, i've deemed these topics unworthy of their valuable time. but what the fuck, who doesn't enjoy a good bicycle story?

a few months ago i bought myself a new bike. a lovely little street/hybrid that was a pleasure to ride, small and lightweight, great for short commutes.

i generously offered the iron maiden to my daughter as she had told me that she wanted a bike but she wasn't interested.  when she dropped by and and i offered to give her the new cute little white bike, she immediately snapped it up. those darn millennials are quite choosy. so  i was back to square one and had to go find another bike.

a few days ago i noticed a neat little bike for sale and quickly pulled the trigger. so far i love the new bike. it's small and light for those short commutes and it also can hop over curbs and go down a few stairs. i might be old, but i still ride like a kid. but what really stands out is the gear ratio.  the middle front sprocket is just right, not to big and not to small.

it lacks the curb appeal of the white bike but that's something i can live with. now i have to come up with good nickname for the little beauty.

the blue meanie?
baby blue?
the rock? (it's a rocky mountain)

billy says he loves you sons of bitches.  and he thinks i should go with "the rock"

Friday, 26 May 2017

another one rides the bus

the rip has another notch in her belt. i found the carcass below in our yard this morning around 11:00. it wasn't there yesterday afternoon and from the atrocious smell, i would guess she had a successful hunt last evening.  not only did she kill it, she skinned the son of bitch so i'm not sure what it was.  there were a few tufts of long black fur/hair around it so i 'm guessing it was a black squirrel, or maybe a giant russian sewer rat. so it goes.

billy says he loves you sons of bitches

Tuesday, 16 May 2017

the greens

last week we had a provincial election, lucky us.

the previous government was self-named as liberal. our liberals are actually a little to the right of our federal conservatives but call themselves liberals nevertheless. aren't politics wonderful?

so far last week's election has not produced a winner.  to form a government in beautiful bc, a party needs 44 seats. last week the liberals won 43 seats, the ndp (the political left) won 41 seats and the greens won 3 seats. this puts the greens in the position of king makers. they can unite with either the liberals or ndp and reach the magic number of 44.

firstly, the greens said they wouldn't compromise their ethics by joining a with a different party and the leader said he wasn't interested in accepting a cabinet post in return for his support. i immediately thought; you stupid son of a bitch! what are the chances of this happening again? well there are two chances and slim just left town.

now the greens have announced what they want in return for their support. they want more money and power!  jesus fucking christ, it would have been nice if they announced that they wanted to stop a pipeline or protect our fisheries but no, they want money.

i voted for the greens this time around and have voted green in most previous elections and most of my friends vote green. i don't vote green because i think they're going to save the world. the reason i vote green and i'm sure that many people vote green is because we don't have a party named "none of the above."

i'll continue to vote green but i'd have a lot more enthusiasm if their dear leader had come out and said the cost of his support would be to stop the pipeline and ban all oil supertankers from our coastline.

if the greens don't make a deal and the whole thing falls apart, there will soon be another election and they'll have blown their big chance.  so it goes.


the greens are now talking about STOPPING THE PIPELINE.

interestingly the ndp are in power in alberta and are pushing strongly for the pipeline to be  built. the ndp in british columbia are strongly against the pipeline, just as the alberta ndp were against the pipeline until they won the election and formed government. it's all about money, the party in power needs money to grease the wheels and reward their supporters.

billy still loves you sons of bitches.

Monday, 1 May 2017


somebody touched me, must have been the hand of the lord.

and that somebody told me to watch cosmos again. only an idiot would argue with the lord so i dug out the discs and started watching cosmos. i watched it years and years ago and only remembered that it was good.  i forgot that it was really, really, really good.

it's hard to believe that cosmos was made 37 years ago, oh how time flies, and sagan makes a point of telling us just how fast time flies. the science has been refined and expanded upon in the 37 years since the series was created but it's not the science that captures my attention, it's sagan himself. sagan's enthusiasm and love for humanity shines through and it's contagious, even to an old cynic like myself.

looking back, i would have watched it on a crappy little tv with no home theater and in a dumpy old house.  but i was single and probably had a glass of scotch wiskey in my my hand. and i would have had the original space hound by my side, a jet black shepherd/lab cross. being young, half drunk and naive, i probably would have thought the world was my oyster. now i watch it on nice big tv with excellent sound so it's probably saw off.

after watching a few episodes, i've decided to add it to deadwood and make it an annual event. i, leo myshkin, do solemnly vow, to watch cosmos once a year. when i really like a movie or tv show i'm able to just sit back and enjoy the moment. in fact i get so mezmerized that i don't really remember tht plot. no shit, even though i've watched deadwood over 10 times, a lot of the plot is new to me whilst watching the events unfold. the ability to forget is a very valuable ability to possess, of course it can also create problems.

contrast the leaders who funded the library of alexandria with the current creature occupying the white house and as nasa would say; houston, we have a problem.

god bless the blue dot!

billy loves you sons of bitches more than i can say.

Saturday, 15 April 2017

back in the game

my good buddy, john from cincinnati, told me that i should get back in the game, so i'm back in the game baby!  the mighty honda scooter is insured and ready to rumble. i took it for a short ride this afternoon but it's still a bit chilly so it was a short scoot. if the weatherman is correct, tomorrow should be a warm sunny day here in the great white north, so i might venture a little further from the bat cave.

it's funny how one thing can lead to another. i was watching penny dreadful and one of the main characters was named dorian gray which touched something inside my brain and the oscar wilde obsession took hold. it's also funny how person's outlook can change with age. i remember being forced to read oscar wilde in high school and not liking it at all. the problem with reading this stuff in school is you can't just read it and enjoy it, you have to write little essays to a humorless teacher and try to find some inner meaning in the story etc. and of course reading books written by gay authors was not the sort of thing that a young man gravitated towards in those days. we were down right  homophobic.

it only took me a page or two to fall in love with oscar wilde this time around. it seems that every page, if not every paragraph, contains some excellent play on words or pithy observation. at first i thought to myself, how the hell can this guy come up with so many great and funny observations on life, then it hit me. old oscar spent a lot of time socializing with educated, upper class brits and being the smart rascal that he was, he must have soaked up their words of wisdom like a sponge and made use of them in his writing. or course, i might be totally wrong but that's how i imagine things when reading his pearls of wisdom. 

if anyone had told me 40 years ago that i would become a teetotaling, scooter riding oscar wilde devotee in my old age i would have thought they were nuts but as they say,  life, or truth is stranger than fiction. but all is not lost, jeffery, the dude, lebowski is still my hero and i do spend a lot of time abiding.

this isn't from oscar but it's my new favorite adage:


shit, the rip has even taken an interest in oscar wilde!

billy says he still loves you sons of bitches.

Sunday, 26 March 2017

john be gone

the 15 minutes of nightly bliss that john from cincinnati gave me has come to an end, mega bummer. it's a great series and it gave me a lot of laughs. it only lasted one season and that is a crying shame. there were parts of it that rival the big lebowski for making me laugh out loud but all things must pass and now it's time to decide on what to watch for my nightly 15 minutes of bliss.  john from cincinnati is a tough act to follow. the other decision i'm facing is how long should i wait before watching john again. 2 years?

fuck me, a few minutes ago i was totally flummoxed as to what to watch but jesus came through for me again. that son of bitch really knows his tv.  the rip from cincinnati and i will be watching.............................................

the mighty boosh!

the big fuck me at the moment is income tax.  i'm one of the holdouts who refuses to file on-line. it's certainly a lot easier to just enter the figures and let the computer do the rest but i get a better of grasp of what's going on by sitting down and putting pen to paper. it's crucial to have your ducks in a row should the taxman decide to ask a few questions. but if the taxman does ask too many questions, here's my standard answer:

this is very complicated case, maude.  you know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lot of what-have-yous. and uh, a lot of strands to keep in my head, man.

billy says he loves you sons of bitches.