Thursday, 10 August 2017


who knew gnarly wood was goddamned difficult to split?

i took a break due to ringing in my ears and general stiffness.  sonny gave me some foam earplugs along with strict instructions on how to properly use them. but what the hell, who needs ear plugs for a few test chops?   well, the problem with a few test chops is once the adrenaline kicks in, a few chops can quickly become many chops and the goddamned ears started ringing again so it was time to take a few days off.

then sonny came through with 2 new wedges for me; a standard wedge and a star shaped "wood grenade".  i decided to start with a modest sized piece of knotted wood. but before i could say, bob's your uncle, i had the axe stuck in the wood. no problemo, right? just pull out the wedges. 

as they say, the best laid plans of mice and men.......

soon i had the axe and both wedges stuck in this motherfucker piece of wood. i must have whacked both wedges over 50 times with a good sized sledge hammer and that fucking piece of wood would not budge!  then i spent almost an hour trying to get them out. i ended up using an impact driver along with a hammer and chisel to get them out.  once again, i was dripping sweat and the ears were ringing. and i had a few slivers in my hand!

a few days later i started again. this time i was more selective and gave the more gnarly pieces a pass. with this new approach i managed to split several pieces. but my ears started ringing and somehow or other i whacked my finger with sledge hammer. now i'm typing with nine fingers and it hurts. as does my shoulder and back.

but fear not. i'm not giving up. tomorrow i'll be back at it. it's become personal between me and the wood, my honor is at stake. of course the lovely mrs myshkin is giving me zero support and plenty of criticism.  so it goes.

billy loves you sons of bitches.

Thursday, 3 August 2017

sweating like a pig

sweating like pig, and loving it!

a few days ago i had a giant tree cut down.  i loved that tree but it was getting too dangerous. when we first moved here, i took a look at the tree and thought; "if it falls and kills me, it's a good way to go".  but then i got to thinking, what if the son of a bitch falls down on a car load of syrian refugees? i'd be bankrupt!

this is only a small part of the wood!  i put a free firewood sign in front of it and so far a few rounds have been picked up. i've spent a fair bit of time in the hot sun trying to split some to give away to friends and it is really hard to split this stuff when it's just been cut.  i've been using a wedge and sledge hammer that work pretty good but it's really, really hard work in the sun.  like i said, i've been sweating like a pig.

the first day i spent about 90 minutes splitting it before calling it a day. as soon as i finished, i noticed that my ears were ringing, bummer eh? this morning i started again but put moist kleenex in my ears. once again i really got into sweating like a pig and quite enjoyed it until my ears started ringing again, double bummer eh? so i called sonny and he's giving me some industrial ear plugs that he uses in mine sites etc.  in a few minutes i'll be hopping on the scooter to pick them up.

this afternoon i went out to clean things up and when i came back to the house i noticed that the sole on one of my loafers was encased in sap. that sap shit is hard to get off, triple bummer eh?

i'm gonna be busy for the next few weeks. i might head to the hardware store and pick up another wedge, some of those big sons of bitches are really hard to split.

billy loves you sons of bitches.