Sunday 31 July 2016

free books

for as long as i can remember my motto has always been:

IF IT'S FREE, I'LL TAKE IT.

there are several sites to download free books but most of them are a pain in the arse. they require registration and somehow or other they usually end up wanting some money so here's the best site in the known universe for free books:

GUTENBERG FREE PRESS!!

years ago i was attending some sort of bullshit seminar for the cracker factory and the instructor started off by asking us which historical figure had the greatest impact on the human race. the usual names were put forth; einstein, newton etc...

the instructor told us that the most important figure in history was gutenberg because he made it possible to pass along information to the masses of humanity which in turn led to all sorts of inventions and progress for humanity. for the life of me i can't remember what the seminar was about but i'll never forget gutenberg. i also remember my boss saying that shakespeare was the most influential person in history. what kind of fucking idiot would think shakespeare was the most influential person in history??

i don't think there are any recent best sellers on the gutenberg free list but most of the old classics are there. and there are also tons of obscure old titles with no copyright. yesterday i downloaded "slave planet" by janifer. i love old sci fi books.

the new computer arrived and i have absolutely no interest in opening the box. it would just be an exercise in frustration and the probability  of me getting pissed off and smashing it is astronomically higher than the probability of me displaying a working knowledge of modern electronics.

maybe the king of texas can tell me the best way to remove tree sap from a car.  it seems that i parked a certain persons car under a tree and some shit fell on it.

what happens when you speak the truth about crooked hillary clinton?

 billy loves you sons of bitches.

16 comments:

  1. The man who had the greatest impact on the human race was the dude who discovered you could make bread from grass seeds. It may have been a woman, of course. Are you going to hire someone to set up your computer?

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    1. excellent point gb. if gutenberg was a hunter/gatherer he wouldn't have had time to construct the press. sonny will be setting things up for me when his new bride gives him permission.

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  2. Try carb cleaner or brake clean. I like books with real pages, nothing like the warmth of a book.

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    1. king, i was reading that wd40 is good for removing goop. i'm waiting for her to confirm the good samaritin law before giving it a try.

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  3. just paint over the shit stains and she'll never know the difference.

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  4. I think he was right about Gutenberg.

    I don't know if it's good for tree sap, but Goo Gone is excellent for removing many things--labels for example. Whatever you use, you might want to test it on a small and hidden area first.

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    Replies
    1. thanks snow, testing a small are is better than thims' brilliant suggestion.

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  5. A product called "Goo Gone" always works wonders for me and it does not seem to affect the paint.

    PipeTobacco

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    Replies
    1. "A product called "Goo Gone" always works wonders for me..."

      Great minds obviously reach the same conclusions.

      Delete
  6. i went to the store and the clerk talked me into buying "wife gone" rather than "goo gone"

    i should have read the directions first. she didn't disappear when i sprayed her, she just really really fucking angry.

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    Replies
    1. "she didn't disappear when i sprayed her, she just really really fucking angry."

      Sounds like you quit spraying just when it was starting to work.

      Delete
  7. The logic behind Gutenberg having the most impact is pretty sound. I always thought Steve Guttenberg left quite the impact with the Police Academy movies. Hope the new computer gets set up soon and treats you well, Mr. Rosewater. Take care.

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