Monday 19 December 2016

snow

i truly hate snow.

we've had snow for the past week or so and it's caused me considerable hardships. nothing like the siege of leningrad but considerable discomfort nonetheless. vancouver snow always ends the same, a quick rise in temperature followed by rain that creates slush and makes walking very difficult, especially if it freezes at night.

my discomfort comes mainly from having to walk rip 3 times a day for her empty her bladder and evacuate her bowels. but nobody ever said caring for a magnificent beast was easy and as i'm so fond of quoting tony soprano, "this is the life we chose."  my little duck boots work perfectly in shallow snow but having to put on big rubber boots for deep snow causes me pain. the top of the boots  chafe against my shins causing me pain and i don't like pain.

and getting rip prepped for the walk is a challenge. i have to select the correct coat and convince her that it's in her best interests to dress for the weather and then hook her up to the leash.  this isn't too bad if i've remembered to bring all her gear into the house but occasionally i forget and leave it on the deck. when we return from the walk and she's dripping wet, i take her gear off outside and let the water drip off before bringing it in to dry.

that goddamned xmas is just around the corner and i've done zero, zip, squat.... to prepare for the blessed event. the lovely mrs myshkin is still on vacation and without her constant reminders, i seem to forget about it. but all things must pass and before i know it, xmas will be but a distant memory and it'll be on to bigger and better things.

i've toyed with idea of buying myself a nice toy. i've seen a few giant train sets for sale on craigslist but sonny lacks my enthusiasm so that adventure is looking doubtful. it would be a lot of work to transport all that equipment to the house and set it all up. if my dad offered to buy a giant toy when i was younger there would have been very little hesitation on my part to make it happen. of course i would probably got myself  half drunk and proceeded to make a big mess out of the situation. there are times when i wished my kids were as crazy as i was in my youth.

my dear departed father and i got drunk together more times than i can recall and got into some really good messes. if i get motivated in 2017, i'll relate the story of me, dad, fritz and the chinese food. a few people found the adventure to be funny but many people were totally disgusted. it's one of my fondest memories of good old dad.

xmas in canada:


billy hopes you sons of bitches have an outstanding xmas.

14 comments:

  1. Hahaha! Bob and Doug never get old. Hang some smokes on the tree. Ha! I would love to hear the story of you, dad, Fritz and the Chinese food. Gross doesn't bother me. I once mailed a chewed up G I Joe that a dog had eaten and crapped out to a dear friend...because he would never have believed I saw it if I hadn't. Go head, I'm listening. Oh, and merry Christmas! The weather here is a bitch.

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    1. merry christmas miss rabbit. i hope roxy gets lots of good stuff.

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  2. I never do much about xmas, but have considered getting myself a drone.

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    1. a drone with a 4k camera? why you old pervert.

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  3. If Cesar Millan is so clever, he should teach dogs how to walk themselves and dig a hole when they feel like pissing or shitting. All the owners would have to do is let them out of the house. Hope you get pissed on Christmas Day in memory of your ol' dad.

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    1. i think cesar milan is the second biggest fraud on tv.

      alas, i'm out of the drinking game for the foreseeable future.

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  4. I hate fucking snow too, but Peggy adores fucking snow so muchy that she drives sixty fucking miles on dangerous roads to ski in the fucking white stuff. We’ve had a fucking ice storm, and I asked the guy at the fucking liquor stores if sales had gone up, and he just said, “Oh yeah!”

    As for Xmas, I love it partly because Peggy loves it. Without Peggy, I don’t think I could bear it. I think I would kill myself.

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    1. yeah, wake me when xmas is over. although i do like christmas carols.

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  5. I gather have the snow then the rain. Rain I fine depressing but snow staying to long will get to me.
    Love that movie..strange brew...Coffee is on

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    1. other than making rip stink, i'm fine with rain.

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  6. "FAR WORST than the siege of leningrad"

    You're a braver man than I.

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    1. the older i get, the less brave i become. soon i'll be cowering under the desk.

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  7. Tell Billy to have himself a wonderful Christmas as well. And, of course, you do the same Mr. Rosewater. You are taking me back with the Bob and Doug McKenzie video. Oh how they made me laugh when I was a younger man.

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  8. Xmas eve here now and it was 70 degrees here today.

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