more stuff

The mighty honda scooter is so excellent that it's making me hop on and go buy stuff that I really don't need and will undoubtedly end up in the "it seemed like a good idea at the time" pile of stuff taking up premium space.

I had the mighty scooter on the highway and took it up to 90 km/h. It got up to speed no problem and there was plenty of throttle left but it didn't feel very safe. The scooter is too light and a few times I felt like it was close to becoming airborne. I filled up the tank and calculated the fuel consumption to be 136 miles per imperial gallon. Not too shabby.

Last week I went to look at a Moorcroft lamp and somehow or other found myself driving home with the lamp and 8 additional pieces of Moorcroft along with 2 boxes of other stuff. You wouldn't believe how happy the lovely mrs myshkin was to see me carrying 3 boxes of stuff into the house.  Luckily she has no idea how much a Moorcroft lamp sells for these days.

Buying shit can be habit forming and then toss in the adventure of riding a scooter and it's impossible to resist temptation. This morning I hopped on the scooter and went to pick up 2 more character jugs. I wanted Falstaff to keep my dad company on the mantle and as luck would have it, the guy had a beautiful Don Quixote jug. I now have 4 Quixotes,  Two large character jugs easily fit into the storage area under the seat of the scooter. I was worried about breaking them but bubble wrap and foam came to the rescue.

When I finally got around to unpacking the boxes of stuff from the previous adventure, I fell in love with this little orphan:

It's an old Nippon hand painted porcelain plate, probably from the 1950's. I don't think it has much value but the quality of the metal handle caught my fancy. Excellent craftsmanship.

Billy says he loves you sons of bitches.

tradition?

The traditions and customs of our various societies are certainly interesting and diverse. There are times when you have to ask yourself, how in the wide, wide world of sports did these geniuses come up with something so brilliant. But one person's brilliant idea may be another person's idea of lunacy.

For instance, take a look at his photo and ask yourself, how did these rocket scientists come up with this wonderful practice?

Once upon a time, did a man happen to discover that his wife had done something naughty and as a punishment ordered her to hold a flaming bowl of shit in one hand until she learned her lesson?

Then did she repeat the same blunder so he decided that she should hold a flaming bowl of shit in each hand?

But she was a slow learner and transgressed again so he decided that she should also balance a flaming bowl of shit on her head?

Then did the other men of the tribe decide that it was such a good learning exercise that all the women should take part in the lesson? As they say, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

I don't know how it all started, but I'm pretty sure that the idea came from a man.

But something better than flaming bowls of shit arrived on my doorstep last week:

I now have an old copy of Dune to read after I finish House Atredies and House Harkonnen. I'm debating whether or now to read House Corrino before jumping into Dune.

Billy says he loves you sons of bitches. Billy is quite curious to find out if  ingesting spice and folding space have any connection with being unstuck in time.

something wonderful happened this morning.

i was going to buy myself a toy for retirement but as they say, the best laid plans......

i pulled the trigger yesterday and here's the new toy:

 i had decided to get a bike months ago but just couldn't make up my mind what to buy, a little scooter or a cruiser. it's been 20 years since i had a motorcycle and was wondering how good my muscle memory would be.

when i went to the honda dealer i sort of fell in love with the honda phantom but luckily i came to my senses and bought something much smaller. a phantom would be cool if i lived in the country and could do some cruising but for zipping around the city, the pcx 150 makes life easier. it was a bit of an adventure for the first few kilometers but i'll soon have the hang of it.

it zips around the city with an automatic transmission and has plenty of storage under the seat.

if this isn't wonderful, what is?

billy says he loves you sons of bitches and i should have got something bigger.

2001

Last night I finished watching 2001, A Space Odyssey.  It was a 5 night affair and on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give it a 7 on bliss scale. Parts of it were very good but at the risk of sounding shallow, the special effects and sound track were definitely dated. I found myself wondering how good it would be using current technology.

Watching the movie made me think of the sixties and seventies when our teachers and society in general were telling us how glorious the future would be. I remember career counseling in high school where the teachers told us the best jobs in the future would be recreation directors because everyone would  have lots of money and huge amounts of free time as the work week would decrease to about 20 hours. Yes, we had stars in our eyes and thought the world was our oyster.

But how did it turn out? Not as wonderful as was predicted by our teachers. The environment is toxic and the economy is in the shitter. Starvation and poverty are prevalent in large areas of the planet and wars are erupting on a regular basis. But for a very small portion of the population, the predictions came true. Untold riches and opulent lifestyles if you're fortunate enough to have a well connected family tree. Or you might get lucky and have a 100 mph fastball and be able to hit the ball out of the park.

Tonight the plan is to start watching 2010, the year we make contact. I can't remember the plot very well but I do remember that the special effects were a lot better than 2001 and that for maximum bliss, I should be well medicated for the last 20 minutes.

I made a big pot of bean soup yesterday so my mental health is in good shape. Yes, that's how glorious my future turned out, bean soup is the jewel in my crown.

Billy says he loves you sons of bitches.

slipped my mind

Throughout the week I have countless ideas for topics to ramble on about but when it comes time to put pen to paper, either I can't remember my brilliant ideas or they've lost their brilliance after a day or two of them bouncing around in my subconscious.

After the annual Deadwood marathon, I decided to get my 15 minutes of bliss each night watching CARNIVALE. This was my 3rd time watching the series and like Deadwood, I discover something different each time I watch it. The first time I watched it, the freaks and interesting characters of the carnival caught my attention. Same thing with the second time watching it but I got a greater understanding of the characters and a few of the holes in the plot were filled in. This last time I focused on the religious aspect.

The religion caught my attention because when the evil priest, Brother Justin was speaking, I was lucky enough to have the sub woofer dialed in perfectly. A very subtle rumbling wafted across the room that was incredibly spooky and spooky is good. My only criticism of Carnivale is that Brother Justin becomes too overtly evil.

For evil to really resonate, there should be a few things left to the imagination.  Nothing wreaks more havoc with us humans than our imaginations. If we're not imagining ourselves to be incredibly smart and important, we're imagining ourselves to be persecuted and under appreciated. And we have the ability to make mountains out of mole hills when it comes to our problems. All this is acceptable for young people but jesus fucking christ, us old geezers should know better. You wouldn't believe how depressed I get when my bicycle has a flat tire. It's like the world is coming to an end.

After Carnivale, I watched Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and it was very therapeutic. Not as good as the Big Lebowksi for lifting my spirits, but everything pales in comparison to the Big Lebowski. Now it's time to find a new series for the 15 minutes of nightly bliss before hitting the sack. I'm beginning to panic because I only have about 10 hours to come up with something good or I'm facing the prospect of an evening without bliss.

A man needs his bliss.

Billy says he loves you sons of bitches.

trees

I've been on the lookout for a new tree since February and finally pulled the trigger. I told the lady that I was looking for an alaskan weeping cedar but they didn't have any. I had found one at a different nursery but the son of a bitch was huge and would have been difficult to transport and transplant so I gave it a pass. A few weeks ago I found a weeping giant redwood but gave it a pass because the name "giant redwood" would have set off alarm bells with the lovely mrs myshkin. She doesn't share my love for trees. So this is the little beauty I purchased:

I was told that it's a weeping blue Nabor Cypress. When I got home and checked it out on the net I didn't see any such tree but what the hell, it's the only weeping blue Nabor Cypress on the planet. Or I had sucker written across my forehead and the lady took advantage of me.

Two years ago I planted a small cedar tree which looked kind of like Charlie Browns Christmas tree at the time:

And this is what it looks like now:

Pretty fucking good, eh!  I've faithfully watered and fertilized the little angel and kept a record of it's growth that I posted on a previous blog. It's getting too high to accurately measure now. Maybe Sonny can work a little trigonometry and give me an accurate figure. But I won't hold my breath, he's outgrown my world of trivial pursuits.

Remember the ivy?  It's also doing well:

The new growth has to mean that it's taken root and ready go but just to be safe, I'll give the little beauties a few more weeks in the pots. Plus I haven't really decided on a forever home for  these babies. It would  be cruel to plant them and then rip them out later if a better spot opened up. They've already been through enough trauma in their short lives.

The weather is warm today and quite possibly will be downright hot tomorrow so the water is truly warm in the pond and as always, there's plenty to eat.

Billy says he loves you sons of bitches.

Up in smoke

My luck ran out yesterday, woe was me.  I was happily mowing the lawn with my trusty Craftsman electric mower when things started to go south on me. The mower often gets clogged  when the grass is damp which is no big deal, I just flip it on its side and scoop out the clog. The mower slowed down so I released the safety switch and flipped it on its side but there was no clog so I just righted the machine and carried on. It still didn't seem right so I flipped it over again looking for a clump of grass but it was all clear. I was perplexed.

I continued on my merry way but it still didn't seem right so I flipped over again and noticed a little smoke around the blade. I had smelled something a  little  strange but thought it was just one of my international neighbors cooking some lovely ethnic cuisine. Now I knew what the smell was and what it meant, the mower was on borrowed time. I decided to take a break to let the smoke clear. After 20 minutes I returned to the scene of the crime and finished the area I was cutting. It's time for a new mower.

Luckily, I have a spare mower, a wonderful Craftsman gas mower I bought to cut my dad's grass a few years ago. But I'm not finished with the electric mower. Next time the grass needs cut, I'm going to fire up the electric  mower and keep cutting until the son of bitch erupts in flames. I didn't get to where I am today by letting a chinese lawn mower scare me. I'm actually looking forward watching it go up in flames.

It's nice to use something until it explodes rather than disposing of it before it's time is up. Kinda like wearing an old pair of Levi's until  the crotch and knees are nothing but threads.

Twenty years ago I would have taken the kids outside and said, "here, hold my drink and  watch this!" Then maybe roasted a few marshmallows over the flaming carcass.

Billy says he loves you sons of bitches.