free books

for as long as i can remember my motto has always been:

IF IT'S FREE, I'LL TAKE IT.

there are several sites to download free books but most of them are a pain in the arse. they require registration and somehow or other they usually end up wanting some money so here's the best site in the known universe for free books:

GUTENBERG FREE PRESS!!

years ago i was attending some sort of bullshit seminar for the cracker factory and the instructor started off by asking us which historical figure had the greatest impact on the human race. the usual names were put forth; einstein, newton etc...

the instructor told us that the most important figure in history was gutenberg because he made it possible to pass along information to the masses of humanity which in turn led to all sorts of inventions and progress for humanity. for the life of me i can't remember what the seminar was about but i'll never forget gutenberg. i also remember my boss saying that shakespeare was the most influential person in history. what kind of fucking idiot would think shakespeare was the most influential person in history??

i don't think there are any recent best sellers on the gutenberg free list but most of the old classics are there. and there are also tons of obscure old titles with no copyright. yesterday i downloaded "slave planet" by janifer. i love old sci fi books.

the new computer arrived and i have absolutely no interest in opening the box. it would just be an exercise in frustration and the probability  of me getting pissed off and smashing it is astronomically higher than the probability of me displaying a working knowledge of modern electronics.

maybe the king of texas can tell me the best way to remove tree sap from a car.  it seems that i parked a certain persons car under a tree and some shit fell on it.

what happens when you speak the truth about crooked hillary clinton?

 billy loves you sons of bitches.

new toy

i've been toying with the idea of getting a new desktop computer and it was time to shit or get off the pot. i took a shit and in about a week the new computer will arrive.  sonny is on his honeymoon and he's in charge of setting up my toys so it wasn't urgent to get it delivered today. i could have driven across the city and picked it up but delivery was free so why deal with traffic?

that's right, sonny is now married. it was a big affair at the university that had been in the planning for over a year. i hadn't got my hair cut or trimmed the beard in about 6 months,  throw in a stitched-up mouth with loose teeth and i'm pretty sure  people were concerned that i'd fuck it up. i got a haircut, trimmed the beard and bought a new suit about a week before the ceremony.

you can help an old lady cross the street everyday, but fuck up the wedding speech and guess what you'll be remembered for?

i'm happy that it's over and the new computer is the reward for behaving myself. i've decided to keep the old computer operational and use it for movies, music and pictures. hopefully the new toy will stay lightning fast without all the entertainment bullshit clogging up the works.

this time i bought an ASUS.  my current desktop is a cheap HP that has worked really well so i was looking for a new HP but couldn't find the right features at the right price. i almost bought a  lenovo a few times but the goddamned things kept selling out while i was sitting on the pot. the thought of buying a laptop or tablet didn't even cross my mind. i like big keyboard and a big screen that are always going to be in the same place.

billy loves you sons of bitches.

Books

I sliced one of my fingers so typing this hurts, yes I use all 10 fingers and by taking one finger out of action, the whole thing goes to shit.

I recently read House Atreides, House Harkonnen, House Corrino and the original Dune. Before that it was some Dickens, Dostoevski and a slew of quirky sci fi books.  I noticed that Lenny Dykstra had a book out and he tossed a few insults to Mickey Rourke so I had to get that book. After reading all those books that required a little thought, it was so nice to read something simple and entertaining.

If you like baseball, this is the book for you. It gives good insight into steroids, pain killers and lots of other drugs. It also gives excellent details on some famous games. All in all, it is a very fun book to read.

I had forgot how enjoyable it was reading biographies from athletes. Good old only Lenny gives a great description of a major league ball player's life and times. I recognized almost all the players he mentioned so it was great reading about their quirks and getting behind the scenes details on the inner workings of baseball. Just a fun book to read. I'll be reading more biographies from athletes.

God bless the library. I picked up a few rolling stones dvds and was expecting them to in poor shape, imagining that they had being played whilst people drank and partied but surprise, surprise, they were in pristine condition. Either they were being checked out by anally retentive boomers, or maybe everyone is streaming this stuff on the net. I wasn't particularly impressed with  scorsese's "shine the light." It was "Sweet Summer Fun" from Hyde Park that tickled my fancy. It's from 2013 so the Stones were old men but they certainly seemed to find the fountain of youth. (or some very professional pharmacology)

billy says he loves you sons of bitches.

OUCH!

This time I really mean it. OUCH!

About 10 days ago I was unlucky enough to crash head first into a BMW while riding the bike to the produce market  to pick up potatoes for the Rip.  I spent what seemed like an eternity under the bike waiting for medical assistance. Soon I was surrounded by firemen, paramedics and police officers. The paramedics immobilized my neck and strapped me to a board, they then loaded me into the ambulance for 4 hours of pure bliss in the emergency ward. They don't remove you from the board until all the c.t. scans and x-rays are completed.

My upper lip was ripped to shit thanks to my teeth meeting the fender of the BMW. Try being strapped to a board on your back for 3 hours with blood dripping down your throat. It was not my finest hour. There was nothing broken in the neck or back so they unstrapped me and I then waited an hour for a seamstress to come and stitch my mouth. My back and neck have been very stiff and sore but things appear to be healing nicely. The big problem is my front teeth are slightly loose. Those fucking things better not fall out. I also suffered a concussion and that might be the wild card in this adventure.

As I was lying on the couch recovering, it became apparent than I needed a new remote control radio. I have a beauty in the bedroom but the radio in the bat cave has seen better days. Of course the mighty Pioneer receiver has a tuner but I don't like monkeying around with the device that gives me 20 minutes of bliss each evening so it was off to the store. I couldn't find anything that interested me so I decided to hook up an old yamaha receiver.

I found the receiver and was very proud of myself for successfully setting it up. The only problem was I couldn't get any FM reception without one of those little indoor antennas. I have a huge box full of cables  and electronic knick knacks that might or might not have had what I was looking for. Unbelievably, I found the antenna after a few minutes and all was right with the world. It sounded so good that I decided to connect an old Harmon Kardon dvd player in order to play cds. The old dvd player worked perfectly but I lost the remote for it long ago. No problem, it was time to program a Harmony remote. And it fucking worked! I could have programmed the yamaha receiver into the harmony but it gets too goddamned confusing switching that thing back and forth between gadgets. (and i have 3 harmony remotes so the potential for confusion is immense!)

Sonny is out of town so I had to do all this myself.

Billy says he loves you sons of bitches.